Feminism: The Destruction of Families

 

A woman from an Arab country sent a message to Dr Ahmed Abdullah Al-Omari, the Imam and Khatib of Miqat Masjid. She wrote:

'Doctor, you keep talking about feminism. By Allah, neither you nor those with you really know what feminism is!

I have been involved with them for years. I am a university graduate, a teacher, 42 years old, and a mother of 3 boys and 2 girls. So, I am not an ignorant woman. 

I was drawn into this movement after I became addicted to Twitter and Instagram.

May Allah not forgive the person who brought this into our lives.

I was living peacefully. My husband was a good man - kind, generous, and respectable. But he was firm with me and our daughters.

I got to know some women through Twitter and Instagram. Their discussions were very strong, and most of them were focused on hating everything related to men: husbands, fathers, and brothers.

I saw them looking happy. They seemed to have no restrictions at all - not in the way they dressed, not in going out, or in anything else.

I started attending these gatherings and began thinking, 'How have I been wasting my life?'

Or rather, they made me feel that I had been wasting my life.

The gatherings were extremely open and liberal. I wasn't used to that kind of lifestyle, but Shaytan made it look attractive, and soon I couldn't stay away from it. 

I began to see their gatherings as paradise, my home as hell, and my husband as the biggest devil.

We used to rent private chalets and event centres, and sometimes we gathered at one of our homes.

They had a lot of money. Most of them were working women. If any of them did not have a job, they would help her find one. Their main goal was to make sure that she would never need a man financially.

Our gatherings involved dancing, music and what they called complete freedom.

One of the main things they focused on was portraying husbands as evil. They kept saying that a woman could never be happy while living with a husband unless he completely submitted to her, or she divorced him.

At first, I only joined their discussions for entertainment, and I was not really convinced.

Then they introduced me to some women who were well connected in my city. They started inviting me to different gatherings, but my husband did not allow me to attend events outside those organised by our relatives.

So I started lying to him.

I would tell him, "This is the engagement ceremony of my colleague's daughter", or, "This is the naming ceremony of my colleague's seventh child", and so on. Every time, I had a different lie.

But the most dangerous part was that each woman would tell stories about her husband - how she had 'taught him a lesson', how she dragged him to court, how she got him into debt, how she made his life miserable, and so on.

And I would sit there listening like a fool, becoming more and more angry with my own husband.

Sometimes, some men would come and give us talks about self-development, independence, and similar topics.

During these talks, they would also make jokes and mock husbands.

I started seeing my husband as a devil who had deprived me of happiness. I was just waiting for the day when I would finally explode at him.

That day eventually came.

I told him, "I am going to my colleague's event tonight."

He asked, "Which colleague?"

I replied, "That is none of your business!"

It was the first time in my life that I had ever spoken to him like that.

He looked at me sternly and said, "You are not going."

I replied, "I am going. Do whatever you want."

I do not even know how I said those words. I had never spoken to him like that before.

But that was the result of more than a year of being influenced and emotionally charged against him.

He then said, "If you walk out of that door, you are divorced."

I replied, "That's exactly what I want! I am leaving!"

I was behaving as if I had been programmed.

To be honest, I was hoping he would fight with me so that I could call the police and drag him to the police station and the courts, just as those women had advised me.

They had told me that if the matter reached the police, they would arrange someone to handle my case.

Anyway, I left and attended the event.

I told them what had happened. They shouted, celebrated and lifted me up as if I had liberated Jerusalem!

They congratulated me for a whole week, celebrating my 'freedom from that useless man'. 

I sent them a picture of the divorce document.

They organised a special celebration for me and congratulated me on what they called my 'great victory'.

I left my home and my children and rented an apartment close to my workplace.

My apartment became one of their meeting places.

They also sent me small amounts of money from time to time - sometimes as gifts, sometimes as help to furnish my apartment, and so on.

To make a long story short, I stayed with them for almost four years.

Then I discovered the truth about this harmful group.

I realised that their goal was to destroy families by creating hatred and hostility towards men and making women believe that every man is a devil.

They taught women that they must be financially independent, have their own salary and car, and never allow a man to question them - even their own father.

After four years, I finally woke up and started asking myself, "What have I gained from these people?"

I destroyed my home.

I lost my husband - a kind, brave, and generous man.

My children and daughters became ashamed of me. They hardly visit me except when their father pressures them to, and even then, they stay only for a few minutes before leaving. 

I became ashamed of myself in front of my daughters.

My sons refuse to visit me.

I almost turned to drugs just to escape from my reality, but I chose psychiatric medication as the lesser of two evils.

It is true that I eventually returned to Allah, became committed to my religion, and started praying again.

But my children are not willing to accept advice from me anymore.

I am now 42 years old, but anyone who sees me would think that I am 60. 

I believe the evil starts from the places they call cafes. There is so much evil in these places; I swear by Allah, no sensible woman should go there.

Doctor, please save the girls.

Save the rebellious women.

By Allah, I have so much more to tell you about this group, but my health does not allow me to write more.

I am writing this while completely broken down. My hands and body are trembling.

O Allah, I repent to You.

O Allah, please bring back my husband, my children, and the home that I destroyed with my own hands.

And if someone can intervene and help us reconcile, I want to go back to my home."